Discuss Traumatic Events with Children

When traumatic events occur or when the days that remind us painfully of them approach (such as the anniversary of the September 11th terrorist attacks), take some time to talk with the children in your life about how the events have affected them. The enormity of some events are even beyond the comprehension of most adults, and children might feel confused or threatened, particularly when grief and the aftereffects of trauma and are on public display.

Ask children what they think about what happened and if they are experiencing any fear or anxiety as a result. This can be a very brief conversation and can occur with children as young as four or five years of age. You don’t need to lecture them about the events and its implications, or to discuss your own fears in detail. They need to see you as calm and rational and to know that you will do everything in your power to protect them.

They may have no immediate response, which is entirely ok. At the least they will feel secure and may surprise you with a question or two over the next few days. Hopefully we will all be able to find some time together in the absence of TV, radio, homework and other daily concerns so that this kind of conversation can occur.

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